Wow this is strange
by Reasonably crazy
Summary: It's LOTR in poetry format, more or less. Rather weird, really. Please read and tell me if I should do TTT now and quit while I'm ahead- If I'm ahead at all...


~I don't know what was with me when I wrote this. It was 11:00 at night.  
I shall describe my entire thought process prior to starting this: "ROTK's  
coming out! EEEEEEEEEE!!! Hmmm, maybe I should re-write LOTR in poetry  
format."  
Do you see the connection? Me neither. Anyway, I did. Well, I started  
to. I'm not done yet. Anyway, I had to severely stretch some things, the  
rhythm is abhor-able and. Well, it's just strange. But I'm posting it  
anyway! WOOT!!~  
It's pretty boring to begin with, but it gets interesting and almost funny  
later.  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
Sauron had some pretty rings  
He gave some of them away  
But the best he made in secret  
And with him it would stay.  
  
He planned to rule the world  
His darkness swept the land  
But Men and Elves fought back  
And made a final stand  
  
Isildur cut the pretty Ring  
From the Dark Lord's finger  
Without the Ring, he couldn't win  
And Sauron's spirit didn't linger  
  
Isildur kept the Ring  
Though it should have been destroyed  
But it betrayed him and he was killed  
While the Ring sank into the River's void  
  
Many years later the Ring was found  
By Deagol and Sméagol  
Sméagol killed his friend and stole the Ring  
And eventually turned evil  
  
Sméagol ran beneath a mountain  
And Gollum he became  
When Bilbo stole his Precious  
Things'd never be the same  
  
Bilbo gave the Ring to Frodo  
And wandered off to Rivendell  
Gandalf ordered Frodo that  
About the Ring, nobody could he tell  
  
Frodo went with Sam  
To find a safe place for the Ring  
'Cuz Sauron really wanted back  
His pretty shiny thing  
  
They met up with Merry and Pippin  
And found Aragorn in Bree  
Who was called naught but Strider  
By those in the Prancing Pony  
  
Strider led them through the wilds  
All the way to Weathertop  
Then a Ringwraith stabbed poor Frodo  
So they ran and couldn't stop  
  
They were chased by the Nazgul  
Who used to be kings of Men  
But the rings that Sauron gave  
Thoroughly corrupted them  
  
They met up with Glorfindel  
(Though Peter says it's Arwen)  
He/She tossed Frodo on a horse  
And crossed the River Isen (A/N- okay, it's not the River Isen. But it  
rhymed. You can  
do nothing about it! Buahahaha!)  
  
Elrond, Arwen's daddy  
Treated Frodo's wound  
As for the Ring, he said a council  
Would be held very soon  
  
Gandalf said he'd been a captive  
And Saruman's no longer white  
Now who would take the Ring?  
Everyone began to fight  
  
Frodo finally volunteered  
Though he did not know the way  
Gandalf said he would help;  
Strider couldn't stay away  
  
Legolas stood and said  
This needed the help of an Elf  
Gimli boldly announced  
He'd keep an eye on Leggy himself  
  
Boromir, a Gondor man  
Also said he would assist  
While Sam came from his hideout  
Saying this was something he wouldn't miss  
  
Merry and Pippin sneaked in  
And said they were going too  
Even though none of it  
Would be an easy thing to do  
  
Most hobbits weren't invited  
But not much could Elrond say  
He grumbled, rolled his eyes but said  
They could all go anyway  
  
Frodo wore his Mithril vest  
Sam fretted over Rope  
They started on their journey  
Rather low on hope  
  
They journeyed across lands  
Where anything could be a spy  
All the while wary  
Of Sauron's looming eye  
  
They tried to cross a mountain  
But the weather beat them down  
Gimli suggested Moria  
And Gandalf agreed with a frown.  
They walked to the steep walls  
Of the Dwarven mine  
And waited till the moon  
Gave them a clear sign  
  
They sat and they thought  
And then they thought some more  
Searching for the word  
That would open the glowing door  
  
Suddenly Gandalf gave a cry  
'Mellon' he did shout  
A creak, a groan, a puff of dust  
The massive doors opened out  
  
The Watcher in the Water  
Firmly shooed them in  
Then broke the great doors down  
So they couldn't get out again  
  
They journeyed through the dark  
Dreaming of the light of day  
They faithfully followed Gandalf  
Though he was unsure of the way  
  
Pippin dropped a rock down a hole  
Yawning in the ground  
Everybody glared at him  
While drums in the deep did sound  
  
Orcs came, they fought, Frodo was stabbed  
But that really was okay  
He was wearing his coat of Mithril  
And was able to run away  
  
In the midst of running  
A Balrog they did find  
Gandalf beat him down  
But Gandalf also died  
  
The others escaped Moria  
And made it to Lorien's wood  
They started to go through it  
Though some didn't think they should  
  
Galadriel was very nice  
When they got to Lothlorien  
And each dreaded the day  
When they'd have to leave again  
  
She gave them each a gift  
Before they headed on their way  
Some were so beautiful  
They didn't know what to say  
  
To Sam she gave a box of dirt  
To make his green things grow  
To Legolas she gave  
Pretty arrows and a bow  
  
Most were unimportant-  
I mean, Gimli asked for hair  
But Frodo's was very special  
And should be treated with care  
  
He got a pretty glass  
"For when all other lights go out"  
It offers slight foreshadowing  
To his future spider bout  
  
In Elven boats they went down  
The River Anduin  
Unsure as of yet  
Of what they were getting in  
  
When they stopped for camp  
They were attacked by Uruk-Hai  
Sam ran off with Frodo (A/N- not like that you sickos)  
And Boromir got to die  
  
Merry and Pippin were kidnapped  
Even though Boromir tried his best  
Frodo and Sam went off to Mordor,  
Guaranteed little rest.  
  
Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli  
Went to save their kidnapped friends  
And here the FOTR movie  
Comes to an unsatisfying end. 


End file.
